Hey there - I'm Melissa, but you can call me Mel!

I love nature, long walks, books, travelling  & cooking!

I'm an INFJ South African living in the Dutch countryside.
I have a cute, cozy home with my partner (also South African).

I'm a kick-ass change coach ready to help you overcome the fear & clear the confusion so you can thrive & transform through your transition.

#growthroughwhatyougothrough

I believe ...

  1. Being true to ourselves and fully expressing our uniqueness, our thoughts and feelings take courage. 
  2. Change and growth are part of life. We are always evolving and when we become comfortable and embrace our own metamorphosis, amazing things happen! 
  3. We all deserve to be free to be ourselves and let our light shine w/o worrying what others think. We are meant to each be free and respect each other’s freedom. 
  4. By understanding ourselves, what makes us special and unique results in transformation. Not being afraid to show this side to the world because this is where our true power lies. Connection to self, higher power and your purpose.

Which stage of change are you currently in?

1.

THE ENDING

Gain clarity, overcome doubt, fear, resistance & loss.

Change is the only constant in life, and we’re usually rarely ready for it. And whether it’s a relationship ending, a career path coming to a close, or moving away from your home - we usually can’t see how we will get through it. You are on the doorstep of change - whether you know it or sense it. 

I help you prepare for change by evaluating life now and what needs to change to help you make sense of NOW & what's about to change. I'll help you gain awareness of all that's changing so we can look start looking forward, not back.

2.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Let go of resentments, beliefs, identities & expectations.

Moving through change effectively means evaluating and learning from the experience - so that we don’t make the same mistakes again. This phase is all about “purging” all the stuff that's not working for you! It’s a very emotionally healing time & can be a time of intense shedding and renewal.

I help you through this uneasy time by eliminating everything that is no longer serving you, keeping you stuck & feeling lost. I help you with baby steps to taking more courageous action as well as handling emotions and disruption.

3.

THE NEW BEGINNING

Experience acceptance, purpose, freedom in your exciting future!

You’re past the real”low point” of the change cycle & you’re ready to start looking forward. You have more clarity, peace and inner trust. You’re ready to start putting your feelers out into the world and take “one step at a time” to move your life away from what was  is gone to what is available to you.

I help you plan for after change by evaluating your next move in an authentic way. Get excited about life, by visualising & planning to create the “after”. I help you with accountability on actions & habits to find more joy.


Here's a short version of my long story ... because it's not really about me is it?

Around 2015 I began realizing that I was unhappy and my life felt disconnected somehow. My career wasn’t fulfilling and my purpose felt foggy. I was in a relationship where I felt unable to be the person I truly was or wanted to be. I felt stifled and that I couldn’t be authentic due to the fear of not being accepted. I felt that my personality, belief systems and values were all in misalignment. I knew I didn’t want the life I had, but I didn’t even know what I wanted. I just knew I needed to do something to change the situation I was in.

My friend recommended I see a coach to help me make sense of my relationship and what I wanted out of my life. I saw a therapist and a coach at the same time. My coach helped me to discover more of who I was, my values, boundaries and what I really wanted in love and life. Coaching helped me become a leader of my own life, and not let others define my path for me. The coaching experience helped me to start defining who I was as an individual and what I wanted to achieve with my life. It was exciting but also a very difficult time of self-discovery. Through coaching and joint therapy sessions, I came to the realization that I needed to make the courageous decision that would turn my world upside down, but one that would allow me to begin to heal and start living a life aligned with who I was at my core. I decided it was time to put myself first, embrace change, discover more of me and heal myself.

During a deeply painful and emotionally draining divorce, I spent a lot of time on my own, with myself, experiencing the pain and healing. I started searching for answers to more of my questions. After a year of internal reflection and healing, I was ready to enter the world again. I was ready to be the authentic, whole individual I now felt I was closer to becoming. I was ready to lead myself & others into their full potential.

I am now living on a completely different continent, in a new career & with a partner that is loving, accepting
- and we're busy building a family! 

And I've also learnt all of these lessons along the way...

Many more than one time. So I thought I share some of my biggest ones with you here (so you can skip over them yourself!)

2016 - STUCK, UNHAPPY & DEPRESSED

Lessons Learned: You can't change other people and they're not there to make you happy.  Being inauthentic and "people-pleasing" and as a result not being true to yourself, can lead to a life of stress, overwhelm & confusion.

2018 - DIVORCED & FREE

Lessons Learned: Asking for a divorce and leaving a marriage is one of the toughest things I've done in my life. It also allowed me to heal, embrace more of my TRUE self, and find peace in myself based on who I was and what I wanted.

2019 - "THE NEW ADVENTURE"

Lessons Learned: Wherever you go in life, you go with yourself. In other words, you can't escape YOU, your problems or your past. However, self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-assuredness can take you anywhere you want to go.

2020 - ONWARD & UPWARD

Lessons Learned: Change and growth will always be part of life, so best you get comfortable. Embracing the messy, often unpredictable rhythms of life allows you to move through the "lows" faster and with more ease.

It's not the change we fear, but who we must become.

As William Bridges, an authority on change and transition said, "It isn't the changes that do you in, it's the transitions. Change is situational, transition is the psychological process people go through to come to terms with the new situation. Change is external, transition is internal."

This internal process is what allows us to fully accept and process the most difficult changes in life.

Here's how I can help you...

CLEAR THE CONFUSION. EASE THE FEAR. EMBRACE CHANGE.